As we hopped on our beach cruiser bike rentals he advised us all to check our brakes and made an offhand comment about how we should, “get to know your brakes before you need your brakes.” Well, I got to know that my brakes were finicky, squeaked and worked mostly when they wanted to, but more importantly than that. . . I couldn’t stop thinking about how important this concept was in terms of boundaries. We should all be advised to “get to know your boundaries before you need your boundaries.”

In this new age-y world of boundaries and consent and self care and honoring your own needs and finding what serves you, we don’t often talk about the elephant sized assumption in the room: that you actually know the boundaries you are so vehemently defending.